Sunday, 5 June 2016

Knock Knock: Ugh.

Warning: Spoilers.

Knock Knock is a film directed by Eli Roth, it was also written by him & two other men and it’s a remake of a 70s film called Death Game. It certainly feels like it got its politics and campiness from the 70s film. I can’t imagine watching Death Game and feeling like it needed remaking for a modern audience. I’d certainly add it to the list of films that are more about backlashing against feminism, such as Jurassic World, than I would saying it’s a film feminist’s would like – you know, like Eli Roth said. When I first heard about Knock Knock, seeing that it was a film about sexy women hurting some poor man I instantly thought it sounded dreadfully sexist (of course it is) but then for the director to go oh well nah they’ll love it is just so typical and embarrassing.
Basically the plot goes like this: one night a family man (the most loving, amazing, perfect husband and father) is at home working while his family have gone away for the weekend (join us Daddy! No I can’t, I have to catch up on being an architect as you can tell how successful I am at it by my amazing house) and then there is, you guessed it, a knock at his door. It’s raining heavily and there are two young women at the door drenched and they explain that they were trying to find a party but their taxi driver misheard them and took them to completely the wrong place and can they come in and use his phone. So instead of being a jerk, and come on what could these innocent women possibly do to him, he lets them in; eventually they’re in dressing gowns as their clothes dry and Keanu Reeves’ character Evan acts like they’re so weird for not wanting to sit in soaking clothes but oh they’re cute and young and isn’t it just all great.
Then they ‘seduce’ him because you know that thing where men just literally lose all their faculties and use of their brain when a woman makes a move on him – frankly I’d say that makes them dangerous people to run the world if that’s all it takes for them to become idiots. So he sleeps with them, a lot – in the bed he shares with his wife, in his shower and then the next morning is when things change. He awakes to find his house trashed, and as the film goes on they tie him and make him sit there as they write things like ‘whore’ on a picture of his young daughter and all the rest – feminism, remember. Then they start to play a game, they explain how they have done this many times – go to a house where a man is alone, ‘seduce’ him, and then fuck with him after the fact – and they make him answer questions about how many man say no (none).
Then they tell him how he’s now a paedophile because they’re both under the age of consent, now spoilers here, they’re actually both over 18. But again the three male writers oh so feminist that they are wanted to use an ‘erotic horror thriller’ to make the point that maybe if you’re going to sleep with a woman you make sure she’s old enough first. But men I hear you, women are liars, they have fake IDs, it’s just so time consuming in between meeting a woman and getting undressed before asking how old they are when you didn’t even bother to ask their name! But hey, when the other option is jail…
Now amongst all this I had a very hard time understanding really what Eli and his co-writers wanted from me, the audience. Did they want me to be on the side of the women? Agree with them that Evan was in the wrong (he was, but also they were in different ways)? Or be on Evan’s side that he was perfect and instead just the victim of two psychopathic hotties (last two words were ones used by rotten tomato reviewers of this & the original film). I didn’t feel sorry for Evan because yeah how hard is it to say no to sex when you’re married with kids but also there are moments where the two women are criminals such as when they destroy his house, his wife’s art, where they stab Evan, and you know when they accidentally cause a man’s death, paper maché him, paint him and then call their usual guy that disposes of bodies for them.
I mean they clearly are criminals, who yes make good points that seduction is a stupid word designed to excuse grown men’s actions – especially when those actions are criminal – but at the end of the day they’re meant to be the villains and we’re meant to root for Evan. But that’s difficult when he’s just so dreadful, so self-righteous about how his life is ruined by nasty little women who gave him no choice but to have sex with them – and god that speech he gives, if you’ve seen it you’ll know the one. So really it just made me feel bored, that I was watching the usual sexist rubbish, and that this film really shouldn’t have the word feminist anywhere near it – other than in ‘yet another film for feminists to avoid’.
Who I do feel sorry for is his wife, which again is a character whose story doesn’t care much about – she sees her trashed house at the end but mostly just looks shocked before the film ends. But now she has to divorce her cheating husband, move house or live in one that is defiled, mourn the loss of a close friend, reorganise her career because her art gallery is missing its main piece that was trashed by them and has her friend’s blood on it; she has to presumably clean up the house – women’s work am I right! – and remove all the family portraits that have penises drawn all over them, explain why Daddy isn’t around anymore to her kids and generally just find a way to move forward.
Or alternatively, if she stays with her husband despite his cheating she has to do all of that whilst listening to her husband justify it by him going on and on about how those psychopathic whore bitches tricked him and left him in the ground, literally, up to his neck while he watched a video of him being raped – yep, one of the women literally rapes him while he’s tied to a bed and the film skips over that fact, instead it’s creepiness is her being dressed in his daughter’s school clothes (how they fit her I’ll never know) and uses it in the end of the film as the video of that rape is posted on Facebook for his friends to see. She’ll have to stand by him while he rebuilds his life, she gets to explain to all her family and friends what happened, what they saw on Facebook and hear how dreadful that must be for Evan, and her. She’ll have to sacrifice her time to help him emotionally while her own art exhibit goes up in flames. Not saying that other horror films don’t have similar endings, with untold consequences (or told ones if you watch the many dreadful sequels of so many franchises) but this one in particular is one where Evan won’t be the only one suffering.
Especially if you watch the alternate ending, where Evan finds the two women playing the same game with another man – another poor, helpless man who couldn’t help but sleep with women – and one where he puts on black gloves and knocks on their door for a change. I don’t doubt that that scenario would most likely end with both of their deaths, and that if that film existed men would cheer him on – you make those bitches pay! Ugh. In many descriptions of this film Knock Knock is described as a man’s fantasy gone wrong, i.e. two young and sexy women showing up at your door then having sex with you. Those women give you what your wife can’t, they let you have fun then leave the next day without a trace, free sex with no strings attached – unless they end up like all women are, psychos! Again, ugh.
This film is basically what three men think women are like, but don’t want to admit they think women are like that. Where they take the idea of empty women who just want to have a bit of fun and then decide their personalities would be murdering criminals. It’s not enjoyable to watch, it’s not scary at all and it more sounds like if someone made a film of what their mate Steve told them about this story he heard of these two hot women – phwoar – who went crazy and attacked his mate John, and the story ends with him and his friends sitting in the pub going – well, that’s women: crazy.

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